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Wednesday, June 11, 2003

I've wanted to write here for a while, except for reasons which will presently be explicated, I haven't been. It's not that I am too lazy to write, or am found wanting for things to write about, but simply that everything I say seems so mundane. The ideas and thoughts which one might normally put in to the public domain, about politics or philosophy or even recent sports victories (go Devils!) are all things which, even to me, seem supremely uninteresting. And they're my thoughts.

I realized a long time ago that I was not a genius, by any means. I will never produce a new theory which sets the minds of a generation alight, pen a book which sparks revolution or enflame the envy of the world with a business model which leaves me insanely rich. I can't even go an entire sentence without using a series of redundant fire metaphors. Regardless of what talents I may possess, and my admiration for people from Arendt to Zeno, it's never been within my scope to really do anything of lasting historical acclaim - a fact which all too many people are forced to accept, but which many seem not to.

This is not meant pejoratively - every person alive probably contributes irreperably to the fabric of human society, in their own way - yet not everyone can be a fulcrum upon which even a microcosm within a microcosm in the world turns. In accepting this, however, there is a sort of freedom. The expectations one has placed upon them, be it by family or the mythos within which they live, can be a burdon heavier than a mountain and for many it ends up crushing them when they fail to live up to standards they never had a prayer of approaching. Knowing this and understanding, seeing that whatever you do is, more or less, on a scale which is negligible in the greater human experience is the only real self-determination which a person can have.

There is a hypocrisy in writing a post entirely devoted to my awareness of how uninteresting I am, but as I continue to say, that's only a problem if you happen to embrace the idea that hypocrisy is a problem.

cranked out at 12:30 AM | |

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