I underestimated, once again, how dumb other people are. I got there at 7:50 AM (they open, as you may have guessed, at 8:30) and already there was a line which went from the door, spilling out across the sidewalk, 400 feet back around the parking lot. There were, as I later found upon recieving my number, at least eighty people in front of me. I'll repeat that. The Motor Vehicle Administration, at the crack of dawn, had nearly a hundred people standing around in one of the TWO lines. Upon seeing this, I went to check my car for something to read (I hadn't brought a book since, again, I doubted that people were that dumb if they were not me.) Anyone who has been in my car recently knows what comes next: The only book I had was what I believe to be empirically the worst trash ever printed, Consiliance. This experience was quickly turning in to a clear approximation of Hell. I was discouraged, but not defeated.
So after waiting the forty minutes for them to open (during which time, the line grew to at least 150 people) I got to wait in line another hour to get a NUMBER to deal with the ACTUAL people. It's at this point that I lost my faith in humanity, when I found out that some of the people ahead of me were, and I say this with all due respect, "learning disabled." One woman, as a proof of residence, had brought in an envelope with no stamp, no postal mark, and no return address, which ONLY had, written in MARKER, her name and address. Another, and I wish I were making this up, brought as her two proofs of residence a Comcast cable bill and.... a Comcast cable bill. But the one which takes the cake is the following, which just warmed my heart:
Woman, in broken English: I need to renew the license it is the expired.
MVA Spawn: Let me..... (checks license)... no, you don't need to renew it.
Woman, who I want to punch in the neck: It say expired now, July, I need to renew the license.
MVA Succubus: You don't need to renew it until next year. July Oh Four.
Woman, who makes me sympathize with Bucchanan: Yes, need to renew.
MVA 'employee': Ma'am, do you own a calendar? It's 2003...
I swear to Christ, that is as close to a verbatim account as I can give. I finally got a number, waited for another hour and a half for the numbers to advance from 11 to 26, and got my license, costing me $50. If I EVER have to go to the MVA again, I'm bringing a Colt M4 and am strapping dynomite to my chest. There's no way I'll go in so poorly armed again.
cranked out at 4:57 PM | |
|template © elementopia 2003|