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Sunday, February 22, 2004

Greatest Conversation Ever

It turns out the version of AIM I have saves every conversation I've ever had. So I decided to go through and delete them all, but in so doing, stumbled somewhat randomly upon the following:

Estella3888*: so I have to write a scene right before someone discovers a dead body
assyrian pi: Umm
assyrian pi: Wouldn't that be just like any other scene?
assyrian pi: Like, ostensibly, prior to the discovery of the dead body, people would act just normally
Estella3888: well i suppose
Estella3888: i don't know what to dp
assyrian pi: Unless by "dead body" you mean "America"
assyrian pi: Then they'd be on a ship or something
Estella3888: interesting
assyrian pi: "Arrr!"
assyrian pi: Oh man, pirate time
Estella3888: that would be awesome
Estella3888: there's supposed to be suspense
assyrian pi: How much more suspence can you get than pirates?
assyrian pi: You can have a gay pirate
assyrian pi: And he's going to come out to his swashbuckling crew
assyrian pi: But then they discover America!
Estella3888: wow
assyrian pi: And it can be a metaphor for his discovering his own delicate, delicate pirate soul :-)
Estella3888: you are incredible
assyrian pi: That's what the feds say.
assyrian pi: "The sea misted over the barnacle-encrusted hull of the ancient ship, moistening the cracked and dried lips of Marti the terrible. His scurvy-darkened tongue darted out of his mouth, lizardlike, as he thought, 'Arrr, where can I get me some cherry lipsmackers?'"
Estella3888: oh wow
assyrian pi: "Marti knew today was the day he would have to tell the crew his deep, dark secret. He couldn't keep killing cabin boys who threatened to expose him. He ran his hands over the hilt of his cutlass, a fine blade which had seen many a sea battle - all paltry affairs when stacked up against the turmoil which rocked his soul"
assyrian pi: Oh man
Estella3888: amazing
assyrian pi: "They had come off course in avoiding battle with an English galleon off the coast of the British colonies - the slave trade was a profitable one, and slavers made for easy prey. A shame, still, that his custom tailored heart-buckled boots had been singed in the last raid. He would have to find that great French shop, you know, the one by the river... next to the place where you can get those tiny little croissants?... No, not Jaques, it starts with a B. Oh whatever."
assyrian pi: I can stop any time.
Estella3888: you are absolutely incredible
assyrian pi: I'm prepared to pretend you mean that in a complimentary manner.

* = Name changed slightly to protect the innocent

cranked out at 9:35 PM | |

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