Friday, December 30, 2005

Fantasy... whaaaaa...?

I've been in Colorado for the last week, hence the lack of posting. But I have to work tomorrow, the Saturday of New Years, so trust me, I won't be busy.

Today, I just want to point out This from SportsLine. In case you are too goddamn lazy to click the link, it's a story projecting fantasy draft position for 2006.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is idiotic. The author even begins with a mind-blowingly strange statement: "The 2005 Fantasy Football season is over for most owners, so it's time to take a look at what we can expect to see in drafts for next season. Obvious events such as trades, free-agent movement and the NFL Draft will alter these results somewhat, but it's still valuable to look ahead and project potential draft position."

My favorite part is that he claims it's "valuable" to do this. Why? Why is this of any value? He acknowledges that this list is totally meaningless in light of the fact that it is going to change completely and utterly over the next two months, let alone before next August. It's not really as if we need to be deploying our scouts to go and watch potential recruits. I realize this guy gets paid by the column, and it's easier to write a stupid fake-draft order than to write the other obligatory "fantasy busts 2005" column (by the way: my entire fucking Yahoo draft was a template for 'fantasy busts 2005').

For example, #1 on his list:

1. Larry Johnson, RB, Kansas City: The status of RB Priest Holmes could alter Johnson's status as the top overall selection, but at this point it's hard to pass on this talented back. He rushed for 1,150 yards and scored 14 total touchdowns in eight starts after Holmes went down with an injured knee and has 2,000-yard, 30-touchdown potential as a featured back for an entire season.

Not for nothing, but if you extrapolate stats over an entire season that were earned in less than that, Clinton Portis is the greatest quarterback the world has ever known. He has a 100% touchdown/pass percentage based on this week. Also, with Willie Roaf deciding whether or not to retire along with Trent Green and Dick Vermeil on one of the oldest teams in the league than maybe 30-touchdowns is a bit optimistic.

Then there's the other thing that bothers me: "Barber is one of the league's most underrated backs..." Whoa. Stop right there. First, you missed the "Barber is underrated" bandwagon back about October, when everyone in the universe came out saying how amazing Tiki Barber is and how underrated. Second, he's actually pretty overrated. He has a lot of good games against terrible teams, and then gets stuffed by anyone with anything resembling a defense.

He also puts Terrell Owens ahead of Peyton Manning and every other receiver. Now, ignoring for a moment that he's not even technically on a team, I can probably name six recievers and a couple tight ends ahead of him. Christ.

cranked out at 5:09 AM | |