My Education
My Weekends
My Religion
My Information
My Guilty Pleasure
My Role Model
For Your Eyes
For Your Ears
For Your Palate
For Your Touch
For Your Gag Reflex
For The Love of God

Monday, January 30, 2006

Star Wars

I am probably not a big authority on "morals." I mean, I can do a serious impersonation of someone who has a strong moral compass if I'm forced into a corner: but in general terms, ethics are not my strong point. I think it may be too many philosophy classes and too many postmodernism novels, but my visceral reaction to most things pretty effectively bypasses any conscience I may have developed at some point in my life. So many of you may think I'm just trying to be contrary when I say this: The Empire in Star Wars was objectively wronged by the rebellion.

I honestly believe that George Lucas missed his calling. He shouldn't have been a movie maker (though whether Episode I counts as a 'movie' rather than, say, panda excrement is not a closed question), he should have been a propagandist. Simply put, using music and personalization he managed to make political terrorists into heroes. Using the same tactics as George W. Bush's government (ie: calling the other side 'the dark side' or 'evil') he immediately casts a whole group into a role without allowing the viewer to make their own choice.

Think about it: when do the 'evil' folks ever do anything that is objectively immoral? Even the slaughter of the Younglings in Episode Clone Wars is sort of understandable. It's not necessarily any different than killing 14 and 15 year old soldiers in Iraq - they are a dangerous, indoctrinated enemy who have the power to kill and are not afraid to use it. Jedi Academies are just madrasses with better architecture and more robes. Jedi are religious fanatics who believe in service to Alla... I mean, the force, and are willing to subjugate and kill anyone who disagrees with them. A quick show trial that simply acts as a front for coercing confessions does not cede to them the moral high ground.

The destruction of a planet in Episode IV? The planet just happened to be led by a crazy, irrational female leader who was marhsalling their resources towards open rebellion. Does anyone believe that, if Lincoln had the death star, he would have hesitated in using it to destroy South Carolina as a means to preserving the Union? And would we be worse off? I think the answer to these questions is obvious.

Luke is just like John Wilkes Booth, using subterfuge and deception to get himself into Ford's Theater (The Death Star), and close to his prey. He's not honorable, nor is he in the right. He is seeking to kill a democratically elected leader because it serves his particular political angenda. The rebellion doesn't hesitate to kill the thousands of workers on various starships, including civilian personel. There are even incidences of suicide bombings.

And you know what? After they do their ChubChub dance with the Ewoks in Episode VI, who's going to rebuild the universe? There's no government any more. There's no security or army. There's nothing stopping an all-out civil war among the many planets. And you know who's going to win? It's not the Ewoks or Wookies of the world. It's going to be people like the Trade Federation, who will enslave the 'lesser' species and conscript them into labor. Congratulations, rebellion. You've managed to destroy peace and have done so just because Luke was angry at his father. Thanks for taking out your daddy issues on the rest of the universe. Maybe instead of Yoda, Luke should have gone and 'trained' with a psychiatrist (see also; incest). It would have saved everyone a lot of grief.

Mostly, the Rebellion was just a collection of criminals, drunks, and pornographers lead by a pseudo Joan of Arc into ending a government intent on world peace. Excellent work, guys. Excellent work.

cranked out at 5:09 AM | |

template © elementopia 2003
Chicken and/or Waffles
Be Objective
Be Qualitative
Be Mindless
Be Heartless
Be Confused
Be Aware
The Lounge
Appellate Blog